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PRONUNCIATION GUIDE - WORD-FOR-WORD ENGLISH TRANSLATION - GOOD ENGLISH TRANSLATION - VOICEOVER AUDIO

  Voiceover: Maria Paola Guerrato Word-For-Word Translation: Roberto Casiraghi*
 
photo credit: Asgl - Credits: http://www.joke-zone.co.uk

Tato

Jokes are often short and written in a very simple language which is easy to understand. Moreover, jokes are fun and can provide a nice alternative to studying "the hard way". So don't be surprised if we are encouraging you to study Italian with the help of jokes!


 
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The Clever Centipede

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PRONUNCIATION ORIGINAL TEXT LITERAL TRANSLATION GOOD TRANSLATION

L'astto millepydi
L'astuto millepiedi
The sly centipede
Clever Centipede

no skpolo volva kwalkno k l ayutsse nlle se fande di kza, koz deze di prndere un animle k lhi rizolvsse il problma.
Uno scapolo voleva qualcuno che lo aiutasse nelle sue faccende di casa, cos decise di prendere un animale che gli risolvesse il problema.
A bachelor wanted(I) someone who him helped(S) in_the his chores of house, so he_decided of to_take an animal who to_him resolved(S) the problem.
A single man wanted someone to help him with the household chores, so he decided to get a pet to help out.

And nl negtsyo di animli dl lwgo kyze al propryetryo un konsllho sull'animle py adtto.
And nel negozio di animali del luogo e chiese al proprietario un consiglio sull'animale pi adatto.
He_went in_the shop of animals of_the place and he_asked to_the owner an advice on_the_animal more suitable(~)
He went to the local pet shop and asked the owner for advice on a suitable animal.

Il propryetryo sujjer un kne, ma l'wmo dsse:
Il proprietario sugger un cane, ma l'uomo disse:
The owner suggested a dog, but the_man said:
The owner suggested a dog, but the man said:

"No, i kni nn fnno i pytti".
"Noo, i cani non_fanno i piatti".
No, the dogs don't_do the dishes.
"Nah, dogs can't do dishes."

Il propryetryo sujjer allra un gtto, ma l'wmo dsse: "No, i gtti nn strano".
Il proprietario sugger allora un gatto, ma l'uomo disse: "Noo, i gatti non_stirano".
The owner suggested then a cat, but the_man said: "No, the cats do_not_iron.
The owner then suggested a cat, but the man said, "Nah, cats can't do the ironing."

lla fne il propryetryo sujjershe un millepydi: "Kwsto l'animle perftto pr li. Pw fre kwalsasi kza!"
Alla fine il proprietario suggerisce un millepiedi: "Questo l'animale perfetto per lei. Pu fare qualsiasi cosa!"
At_the end the owner suggests a centipede: "This is the_animal perfect(~) for you(h). It_can do any thing!"
Finally the owner suggests a centipede, "This is the perfect pet for you. It can do anything!"

"Bne" pens l'wmo "L metter lla prva", koz l kompr l port a kza.
"Bene" pens l'uomo "Lo_metter alla prova", cos lo_compr e lo_port a casa.
"Good" thought the_man "I'll_put_it at_the test", so he_bought_it and he_brought_it at house.
"OK," the man thought, "I'll give it a try," so he bought it and took it home.

na vlta a kza dsse al millepydi di lavre i pytti.
Una volta a casa disse al millepiedi di lavare i piatti.
A time at house he_said to_the centipede of to_wash the dishes.
Once home he told the centipede to wash the dishes.

Il millepydi gward su 'rano ple ple di pytti sprki k sembrvano sser l da un mze.
Il millepiedi guard su e c'erano pile e pile di piatti sporchi che sembravano esser l da un mese.
The centipede looked up and there_were(I) piles and piles of dishes dirty(~) that seemed to_be there since one month.
The centipede looks over and there are piles and piles of dirty dishes that look to be a month old.

nkwe minti dpo, ttte l pntole rano lavte, ashugte msse a psto.
Cinque minuti dopo, tutte le pentole erano lavate, asciugate e messe a posto.
5 minutes after, all the pots were(I) washed, dried and put at place(=in the right place)
Five minutes later, all the pots are washed, dried, and put away.

"Benssimo" pens l'wmo.
"Benissimo" pens l'uomo.
"Very_well" thought the_man(~)
"Great," thought the man.

Allra dsse al millepydi di spolverre passre l'aspiraplvere.
Allora disse al millepiedi di spolverare e passare l'aspirapolvere.
Then he_said to_the centipede of to dust and pass(=use) the_vacuum_cleaner.
Then he told the centipede to do the dusting and vacuuming.

Kwndici minti dpo la kza ra immakolta.
Quindici minuti dopo la casa era immacolata.
15 minutes after the house was immaculate.
Fifteen minutes later the house is spotless.

Fantstiko, pens l'wmo, koz deze di sperimentre un'ltra ida.
Fantastico, pens l'uomo, cos decise di sperimentare un'altra idea.
Fantastic, thought the_man(~), so he_decided to experiment an_other idea.
Wow, thought the man, so he decided to try another idea.

"Shndi all'ngolo prtami il jornle dlla sra" dsse al millepydi, kwllo and va.
"Scendi all'angolo e portami il giornale della sera" disse al millepiedi, e quello and via.
"Go_down(s) at_the_corner and bring_me(s) the newspaper of_the evening" he_said to_the centipede and that_one went away.
"Go down to the corner and get me the evening paper," he told the centipede, and off it went.

Kwndici minti py trdi il millepydi nn ra ankra tornto.
Quindici minuti pi tardi il millepiedi non_era ancora tornato.
15 minutes more late the centipede wasn't still come_back.
Fifteen minutes later, the centipede hadn't returned.

Trnta minti dpo ankra nynte millepydi.
Trenta minuti dopo e ancora niente millepiedi.
Thirty minutes after and still nothing centipede.
30 minutes later and still no centipede.

Kwarnta_nkwe minti l'wmo ra ormi stfo pr l'attza, koz si alts d ush in rka dl millepydi.
Quarantacinque minuti e l'uomo era ormai stufo per l'attesa, cos si_alz ed usc in cerca del millepiedi.
45 minutes and the_man was(I) by_now fed-up for the_wait, so he_got_up and went_out in search of_the centipede.
Forty-five minutes and the man was sick of waiting, so he got up and went out to look for the centipede.

Kme apr la prta, kko l il millepydi k stva sul gradno.
Come apr la porta, ecco l il millepiedi che stava sul gradino.
As he_opened the door, here_is there the centipede who was(I) on_the step.
As he opened the front door, there on the step was the centipede.

"i, kza fi l koz? Ti mandto a prndere il jornle kwarnta_nkwe minti fa ra ti trvo kw, fwri, sntsa il jornle! K kza sude?"
"Ehi, cosa fai l cos? Ti_ho_mandato a prendere il giornale 45 minuti fa e ora ti_trovo qui, fuori, senza il giornale! Che cosa succede?"
"Hey, what do_you_do(s) there so? I_have_sent_you(s) at to_take the newspaper 45 minutes ago and now I_find-you(s) here, outside, withouth the newspaper! What thing happens?"
"Hey, whatcha' doing there? I sent you out for the paper 45 minutes ago and now I find you out here without the paper! What gives?"

"Un ttimo!" dsse il millepydi "Mi st ankra mettndo lhi stivli!"
"Un attimo!" disse il millepiedi, "Mi_sto_ancora_mettendo gli stivali!"
"One moment!" said the centipede, "I_am_still_putting_on the boots!"
"Hold on a minute!" said the centipede, "I'm still putting on my boots!"

 

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PRONUNCIATION ORIGINAL TEXT LITERAL TRANSLATION GOOD TRANSLATION

PRONUNCIATION ORIGINAL TEXT LITERAL TRANSLATION GOOD TRANSLATION

L'astto millepydi

L'astuto millepiedi

The sly centipede

Clever Centipede

no skpolo volva kwalkno k l ayutsse nlle se fande di kza, koz deze di prndere un animle k lhi rizolvsse il problma.

Uno scapolo voleva qualcuno che lo aiutasse nelle sue faccende di casa, cos decise di prendere un animale che gli risolvesse il problema.

A bachelor wanted(I) someone who him helped(S) in_the his chores of house, so he_decided of to_take an animal who to_him resolved(S) the problem.

A single man wanted someone to help him with the household chores, so he decided to get a pet to help out.

And nl negtsyo di animli dl lwgo kyze al propryetryo un konsllho sull'animle py adtto.

And nel negozio di animali del luogo e chiese al proprietario un consiglio sull'animale pi adatto.

He_went in_the shop of animals of_the place and he_asked to_the owner an advice on_the_animal more suitable(~)

He went to the local pet shop and asked the owner for advice on a suitable animal.

Il propryetryo sujjer un kne, ma l'wmo dsse:

Il proprietario sugger un cane, ma l'uomo disse:

The owner suggested a dog, but the_man said:

The owner suggested a dog, but the man said:

"No, i kni nn fnno i pytti".

"Noo, i cani non_fanno i piatti".

No, the dogs don't_do the dishes.

"Nah, dogs can't do dishes."

Il propryetryo sujjer allra un gtto, ma l'wmo dsse: "No, i gtti nn strano".

Il proprietario sugger allora un gatto, ma l'uomo disse: "Noo, i gatti non_stirano".

The owner suggested then a cat, but the_man said: "No, the cats do_not_iron.

The owner then suggested a cat, but the man said, "Nah, cats can't do the ironing."

lla fne il propryetryo sujjershe un millepydi: "Kwsto l'animle perftto pr li. Pw fre kwalsasi kza!"

Alla fine il proprietario suggerisce un millepiedi: "Questo l'animale perfetto per lei. Pu fare qualsiasi cosa!"

At_the end the owner suggests a centipede: "This is the_animal perfect(~) for you(h). It_can do any thing!"

Finally the owner suggests a centipede, "This is the perfect pet for you. It can do anything!"

"Bne" pens l'wmo "L metter lla prva", koz l kompr l port a kza.

"Bene" pens l'uomo "Lo_metter alla prova", cos lo_compr e lo_port a casa.

"Good" thought the_man "I'll_put_it at_the test", so he_bought_it and he_brought_it at house.

"OK," the man thought, "I'll give it a try," so he bought it and took it home.

na vlta a kza dsse al millepydi di lavre i pytti.

Una volta a casa disse al millepiedi di lavare i piatti.

A time at house he_said to_the centipede of to_wash the dishes.

Once home he told the centipede to wash the dishes.

Il millepydi gward su 'rano ple ple di pytti sprki k sembrvano sser l da un mze.

Il millepiedi guard su e c'erano pile e pile di piatti sporchi che sembravano esser l da un mese.

The centipede looked up and there_were(I) piles and piles of dishes dirty(~) that seemed to_be there since one month.

The centipede looks over and there are piles and piles of dirty dishes that look to be a month old.

nkwe minti dpo, ttte l pntole rano lavte, ashugte msse a psto.

Cinque minuti dopo, tutte le pentole erano lavate, asciugate e messe a posto.

5 minutes after, all the pots were(I) washed, dried and put at place(=in the right place)

Five minutes later, all the pots are washed, dried, and put away.

"Benssimo" pens l'wmo.

"Benissimo" pens l'uomo.

"Very_well" thought the_man(~)

"Great," thought the man.

Allra dsse al millepydi di spolverre passre l'aspiraplvere.

Allora disse al millepiedi di spolverare e passare l'aspirapolvere.

Then he_said to_the centipede of to dust and pass(=use) the_vacuum_cleaner.

Then he told the centipede to do the dusting and vacuuming.

Kwndici minti dpo la kza ra immakolta.

Quindici minuti dopo la casa era immacolata.

15 minutes after the house was immaculate.

Fifteen minutes later the house is spotless.

Fantstiko, pens l'wmo, koz deze di sperimentre un'ltra ida.

Fantastico, pens l'uomo, cos decise di sperimentare un'altra idea.

Fantastic, thought the_man(~), so he_decided to experiment an_other idea.

Wow, thought the man, so he decided to try another idea.

"Shndi all'ngolo prtami il jornle dlla sra" dsse al millepydi, kwllo and va.

"Scendi all'angolo e portami il giornale della sera" disse al millepiedi, e quello and via.

"Go_down(s) at_the_corner and bring_me(s) the newspaper of_the evening" he_said to_the centipede and that_one went away.

"Go down to the corner and get me the evening paper," he told the centipede, and off it went.

Kwndici minti py trdi il millepydi nn ra ankra tornto.

Quindici minuti pi tardi il millepiedi non_era ancora tornato.

15 minutes more late the centipede wasn't still come_back.

Fifteen minutes later, the centipede hadn't returned.

Trnta minti dpo ankra nynte millepydi.

Trenta minuti dopo e ancora niente millepiedi.

Thirty minutes after and still nothing centipede.

30 minutes later and still no centipede.

Kwarnta_nkwe minti l'wmo ra ormi stfo pr l'attza, koz si alts d ush in rka dl millepydi.

Quarantacinque minuti e l'uomo era ormai stufo per l'attesa, cos si_alz ed usc in cerca del millepiedi.

45 minutes and the_man was(I) by_now fed-up for the_wait, so he_got_up and went_out in search of_the centipede.

Forty-five minutes and the man was sick of waiting, so he got up and went out to look for the centipede.

Kme apr la prta, kko l il millepydi k stva sul gradno.

Come apr la porta, ecco l il millepiedi che stava sul gradino.

As he_opened the door, here_is there the centipede who was(I) on_the step.

As he opened the front door, there on the step was the centipede.

"i, kza fi l koz? Ti mandto a prndere il jornle kwarnta_nkwe minti fa ra ti trvo kw, fwri, sntsa il jornle! K kza sude?"

"Ehi, cosa fai l cos? Ti_ho_mandato a prendere il giornale 45 minuti fa e ora ti_trovo qui, fuori, senza il giornale! Che cosa succede?"

"Hey, what do_you_do(s) there so? I_have_sent_you(s) at to_take the newspaper 45 minutes ago and now I_find-you(s) here, outside, withouth the newspaper! What thing happens?"

"Hey, whatcha' doing there? I sent you out for the paper 45 minutes ago and now I find you out here without the paper! What gives?"

"Un ttimo!" dsse il millepydi "Mi st ankra mettndo lhi stivli!"

"Un attimo!" disse il millepiedi, "Mi_sto_ancora_mettendo gli stivali!"

"One moment!" said the centipede, "I_am_still_putting_on the boots!"

"Hold on a minute!" said the centipede, "I'm still putting on my boots


   MISCELLANEOUS       

    JOKES
  1. The Clever Centipede
  2. Are You Stupid?

    LYRICS PUZZLE
  3. Con Te Partir - Andrea Bocelli
  4. L'Arcobaleno - Adriano Celentano
  5. A Te - Jovanotti
  6. La Voce del Silenzio - Mina
  7. Una Lunga Storia d'Amore - Gino Paoli
  8. Il Mondo che Vorrei - Vasco Rossi
  9. I Migliori Anni della Nostra Vita - Renato Zero

    RECIPES
  10. Maiale al latte
  11. Dolce alle noci
  12. Pasta con pancetta e zucchine

 

 

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